A different perspective: wild thoughts

Without belief, religion and totems etc would not exist.

Cultures, traditions they form because of a belief of something. 

Music and art is a form of creation and religion.

If we are to accept people with mental illness and phobias, what about people with xenophobia? 

Why do we not accept and embrace them but simply condemn?

Is it because xenophobic can cause casualties while mental illness and the other phobic people doesn't?

Or is it that we love and embrace all including xenophobic people and fight against these illness? Is xenophobia an illness? What if they don't think they have an illness to be cured at the first place?

Just a really wild thought. Inspired by  Major Lazer - Light It Up music video.

To be continued.

-There is always two sides on a coin, no one side is better than the other.-

Pills

Taking pills was never my favourite thing to do. Hell, taking meds was never, at the first place. And it got a lot harder as I grow up. When I was at the age of taking liquid medicine, I was so excited and looking forward to the day I get to take pills instead of liquid. Now, if I could go back I would tell 8 year old me don't be fooled by this.

Popping a pill always seem so easy on tv, to a certain extent it probably looks cool. Like how did those people make such a terrible thing look so cool? I can never do that. Every single medicine-taking time is not a process, it's a ritual. You got to have that prayer before that pill gets into your mouth and chug it down your throat within 3 seconds before it melts that disgusting bitterness on your tongue. And later thank god for not choking it.

Taking the pills is not the only dreadful part. The aftermath doesn't fare too well either. It's a relief when you can sense your fever fading away after taking your pill for awhile, but the nauseous feeling crosses that out. It takes away your appetite, makes you unsure whether you're actually hungry or full because both feels horrible anyway. Your 15 minutes meal time becomes 1.5 hours and I wouldn't mind that unless when my food already turns cold by then.

I would always count the number of pills and calculate the amount of days until I will finish them. But for some people, the number of days is unknown until the day they stop breathing. That's why every time I fall sick, it is a lesson learned to appreciate more of taking care of myself, and empathize more of the people who has to rely on pills for the rest of their lives to stay alive. 

Now Playing: Medicine - Biffy Clyro

Ambitious

Hi there. God can't believe this is my first post here of this year.

Since this year I've fell out of the radar of almost every human being on earth who knows me. Anyway, if anyone is actually still reading this, this is a bit of what I have been doing for this 6 months.

I've made a music website from scratch. It's called The Scandinavian Sound. Now this blog is mainly inspired of my curiosity and love for Scandinavian pop music so I started this. Over the time came more ideas and honestly, it is one of proudest brainchild till date because I feel useful and progressive while doing it. I felt like I am creating and putting ideas into reality. Through the process, I also learnt a lot of things unexpected, and it has been a pretty wonderful journey. It is fun. 

But there were and are times I come to a cross road. I pause to think what exactly does this blog mean? What is the purpose? Often times I find myself going back to the About section to remind myself again the reason I started this blog. And often times I find myself pausing to think where is this blog going to? Is it going to be a legit website where it starts becoming profitable? Or it is going to be just another personal blog for fun?

Same thing goes to content writing. When I write those posts at times I feel like it sounds like a personal ranting, at times I avoid using the word "I" to attempt sounding more professional. Then here is the crossroad again. Am I a music blogger or a music reviewer? What direction am I going? Do I attempt to use this blog as a stepping stone to achieve a career in professional music reviewing or I'm sticking to the job of creating websites and contents.

Guess because I play all the roles in making this website. I'm the CEO, I'm the writer, I'm the designer, I'm the admin and I'm also the tech guy. At all these different aspects I attempt to achieve the best possible results. I even considered learning coding for the sake of being able to create a website from scratch. The prospect of that seem exciting to be honest.

At the same time, I'm also only one person. It's impossible for me to split into so many parts at the same time consistently as long as this website runs. It is an exciting thing to learn so many things that compose one single end result - the website, however there are times it felt like it was out of reach.

I planned to write 3 more reviews for today but here I ended up. It was a relief though. To be able to speak freely without giving much thought is a release for me. I like to write, but writing a blog and writing a review is different. 

Maybe I am too ambitious. Or over idealistic. Now, I'm not gonna make this blog my lifelong career for now. I don't want to put a deadline or certain target to it either to stress myself out, although having a direction is certainly a good thing. But for now, it is one good source that gives me happiness. Despite the crossroads that I constantly face, I too enjoy the fun of writing and designing and decorating and learning things. Not every single thing that I learn has to matter. At some point it is unnecessary to be hard on one self. Take things light.

Now I feel better hah. 

22

22.

The age when we see happiness, laughter, crazy parties

but we never realized the real meaning of 22 come creeping in.

22.

When we are told to not be afraid of making mistakes

We tell our juniors to not be afraid to make mistakes

but yet here we are so stressed about not making a single mistake.

22.

When we are still so young

There is so much time for us to fall and stand up again

but yet at 22 we have to decide to get our shit together for the coming 10,20 or even 30 years of our life because we are afraid to mess up and screw up our whole life.

22.

When I believe it's ok to make mistakes but there are people around you 

telling you how you cannot afford to make any mistake.

Any step wrong here and we are going to regret our whole life.

22

When we don't know what to do

yet we feel like there is so many things to do.

22

As if our whole life depends on the single decision that is going to make at this point.

22

Sometimes I feel like just giving up on you

and giving in to what we were told or what we were "supposed" to do.

Guess I was wrong about you 22.

p/s: For once Taylor Swift got it right. I'm happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time. It's miserable and magical. If i just keep dancing like I'm 22, will everything be alright?

Hello

Hello. It's been a while. 

So many things to talk about, so little time. 

Some stays in my brain some just became a passer by. Anyway, I just felt like blogging so hmm...let's talk about buzzfeed then.

Buzzfeed is pretty much my personal bible. It has every answers to my life questions, from house cleaning to campus life to relationships...EVERYTHING. It's pretty much better than google to a certain extent...well...or should I say it's my customized google. It's born to understand my whole life and all those unexplainable questions. It is the answer to the gray area between the binary 0 and 1.

But at times, things on buzzfeed can be overwhelming. It's like when I go on online shopping sites and I can open probably 10 tabs at least in one browser. The things to see are limitless and endless. And at times these information are like Pinterest, they give you the concept to build and design your ideal life and dreams. They make perfect look so vivid but it doesn't make you feel closer to it. As you close all those browsers, it's like all those dreams just vanished. 

Sometimes reading posts about hot guys makes you dream about having one of them, reading posts about gorgeous weddings makes you dream about having one of them, reading posts about gorgeous interior decor makes you dream about having one of them, reading posts about touching love stories makes you wish you have one of them, reading posts about how easy it is to prepare awesomely delicious food makes you think that "hey I could try that some day" but after 2 years apparently that some day is still floating in the future....ultimately all these things just made me into a more...idealistic person. Or should say over-idealistic person. 

It's never bad to have dreams and goals and wanting to work hard to achieve it. They can be motivation but when it gets too much they becomes stress. Things that you want to achieve becomes more and more impossible. For example, you used to just want to marry your high school crush and now you aim to marry Ryan Gosling.

Anyway, it's pretty much ranting and expressing, there's no moral of the story here. 

Healthy Lifestyle otw

Since getting to this early breakfast thingy, I can feel that my lifestyle is changing for the better, Despite all those stress and storms that constantly try to break me down, an hour spent there is the most...satisfied part of the day. 

Initially the notion of having to wake up early once being committed is kinda daunting, I have to say. Why so? For this sem almost everyday I have been sleeping late. Late as in average 3am. Sometimes 5am on a Saturday. Then waking up 12pm, 1pm, the highest record is 2pm. It's like my life has tumbled upside down. Because of speaking with people with different timezones, I ended up affecting my own. I realized the gravity of this problem but yet the stubborn part of me is always resisting to rest and clinging on to the thought of the possibility that they would be online at this hour. 

Anyway, sleeping at 3am and waking up at 12pm, one might think how could this breakfast thingy be possible? It's pretty much mission impossible. In fact, I have to cycle so far every morning, like....why would I do this. The me that I know could never muster such determination. But I made it.

I guess the main reason is that I am inspired by the people there. I wouldn't say convinced or brain washed. I guess I have been wanting to slim down in a good way. Articles after articles I have read online on the easiest or fastest or laziest way to exercise, but let's be honest I was just lazy to move my ass. So I thought this could be a great opportunity for me to actually get my healthy lifestyle back, of course ot to mention getting fitter and slimmer.

Today, on the 3rd day I weighted. And apparently my water level in my body has increased and my muscle mass have increased too! Which means, that I am in the progress of slimming and ACTUALLY SHAPING! (SAY WUT?) I mean, for the first time it felt like a miracle could happen to me. All these years, I actually thought slimming down would be reaching for the stars to me. For the first time, I actually think it's no more mission impossible. It's mission possible and it is working!

And, on the 3rd day I started to drink more and more water. Initially the amount was a bit hard for me to take in (like WTF 3 litres everyday, I can't even finish 1.5 a day) But I put effort into drinking it, thinking there's no drinking too much for me at this point so just drink your hearts out. Now it actually becomes easier and easier! And it's mandatory for me to finish 1.5 litre per day at least. For 3 days, I have been drinking 2.5 at least and my target should be 3 :)

My battery is running low it's so distracting. I guess that's all for now :D Till the next time ^^

Blueprints

Who doesn't like travelling, exploring different parts of the world or experiencing the different tastes of life? Who doesn't want it? But to some more realistic, it's a fancy thing.

All this life that we built, we build it on the dreams, ideals and goals that we want how are lives would be. We colour and design and make it our own. But as we grow up, our legs just got heavier, gravity just got real and the moment you realize your wings are slowly disappearing because they are not real and they are imaginations you're allowed to make because it's free.

Well, I suppose I'm one of them. The one who has this blueprint of how her life would be, could be, should be but as her wings disappear, this blueprint seems more and more overbearing and a little too fancy. If this is fancy, then what is not?

I always remembered when my cousin told mum how boring life would be after graduation then get a job, then a car, then a house, then marry, then have kids and end your life with a this big bang called loan and taxes; being tied down to all the responsibilities that you "apparently-should-have" living the "normal life".

I having nothing against this kind of lifestyle just so you know. I mean. it's a pretty good life to have a nice job, nice car, nice house, nice family and nice people around you.They say this is enough happiness for one life. But what if we want more? Are we not entitled to that? Isn't that OUR choice? Is it wrong if that is what we want? 

I don't want to end up living a life being cynical and take all this hate to my afterlife. I want to have a life where when the day last day comes I get to say, "Yeah this is a pretty awesome life! I didn't waste this one this time around." or say "Thank you world for everything. Thank you life, it's been an amazing one." I want to live a life where the blueprints of my life becomes real and I build the house that I want out of it. Maybe the blueprint just looks like a fucking mess doodled by some one year old kid. Probably should make it look 22. Yeah.

Story

Just found this in my dusty archives xD Anyway, this is written back in 14/5/13. Almost 2 years now.

........................................................................

It was the morning after breakfast and dropping off my siblings to school. We were about to pass by the road where the old factory that my late grandma used to work in. I never knew its presence till just now when mum started telling me another story of hers in the wake of the passing of grandma 2 weeks ago.

Back when grandma was 14 years old, let's see...that's 1952. Her mother brought her to work in this factory. It was related to alcoholic stuff, not sure whether manufacturing it or just making those beer bottles. One day the owner's wife had her eye on grandma and intended to take her in to her own house to serve as a maid. Seems like a pretty good deal rather than working in a factory at such a tender age. So grandma took the job and her mum, of course agreed to it.

Grandma served the owner's wife until she's around 17. Meantime she made friends with those aunties who cooked for the family and was really fond of my grandma. Until grandma was 17, these kind-hearted aunties gave her and her mum a word of advice to leave here. Those cooking aunties had worked there long enough to know that the young masters of the house had bad intentions towards young girls.

That's how they were introduced to the place where grandpa worked. Thus my grandma became a cooking lady in that company where she cooked for the staffs there. Mum rephrased grandpa's words, 

"can i make friends with you?"

He started the story when he was 16.

That was the age when he arrived Malacca with a rattan bag filled with only 2 sets of shirts, all the way from China. His wage per month during that time was RM10. Well of course during that time things were much cheaper than they are today, so RM10 seems decent for a labour worker. 

Yes grandpa started off as a labour worker, moving stocks and inventories manually, barefooted, on tar road. He said tar road back then were much softer than it is today and it hurts the legs.

On the topic of marrying my grandma, grandpa mentioned that a lot of his friends were against the idea of the owner of a big company marrying a cooking lady when there were a bunch of daughters of big bosses wanting to marry him. Little did those people realized the awesome-ness of grandma x) This is probably another way of grandpa to show off his amazing skills of judgement of people but nevertheless grandma was really an amazing woman so I give grandpa kudos for that.

55 years of ties as husband and wife. It's definitely a lethal effect for grandpa when grandma abruptly left all of us. It's like we've lost the backbone and our whole system came crushing down. Everyone was vulnerable yet we had to gather all our strength and be our strongest. I just hope we could sail through this storm safely.