The 2.30am inspiration

I've been picturing of all kind of possible scenario of us, a lot of  "what if"s, ups and downs...everything.

One of them is where I tell you 

"I don't need anything, I just want to know if I'm someone special to you. I don't want be just friends. I want to be a friend that you'll need; a friend that you will think of when you need someone."

And then you can't stand me bugging you, thus perfunctorily tell me "Yeah yeah you're an important friend to me." And then le me becomes a happy girl.

Thinking about it, does that really makes me a happy girl? Does that mean I can stop thinking once for all? 

I doubt that. I might even want more.

A lot of times, I like things to work the way where everything is stated clearly black and white, because that makes things easier. I guess to a certain extent this is me taking things for granted. I always want things to be prompt, quick and settled in a snap. And I tend to ignore those petty feelings that build the whole relationship. "Rome wasn't built in one day", I guess this is applicable here.

A lot of times, a lot of things work in a lot of ways. Can be thousands, how can a single brain figure the perfect solution? But yet I've always yearn for the perfect solution because it provides the clearest direction. Makes things easier and convenient.

Speaking about convenience, I always yearn for that too, and therefore failed to see the middle part that connects the dot from the top till the end. 

I guess, relationships are not like maths, you don't calculate the exact answer. It is a subjective question. Anything is possible, anything could happen. Patience is definitely a virtue here but don't wait for too long because they might just slip away. Then how do you take the balance point?

I suppose, you will know when the time will come. Something will just feels right. If you've been struggling and sacrificing such big part of your life for nothing in return, I don't think we should invest further in that relationship.

But not to say that relationship should be profitable or to gain something in return, if you feel like life has been treating you badly and nothing is in progress, probably getting worse, I believe in trusting our instinct and letting it go. When the right time comes, we will know it. I hope this will be a simpler way to get a happier relationship.

Note: This post is done without my glasses on, in the middle of my sleep.