So, I have just finished watching Celeste and Jesse Forever, it's the only movie( I think) I've watched twice in less than a year because it was like my own chicken soup for soul! It's been a whirlwind crazy week, you can call it a chapter of life that...changed me in some way..changed the way I perceive a lot of things. And therefore, it did occur to me should I go get myself a chicken soup for soul, well apparently this movie is just the right one. The right amount, the right taste.
Rotten tomatoes gave it a 70% ratings, if it were other movies other than Adam Sandler I wouldn't be watching it. But C&J Forever is a story that relates to me pretty much. For both times, it reminds me of the same person, but it taught me different things. The first time watching it, it was a mild bittersweet flavour, the whole time I was only asking myself, "Wow! This is like...the future me! Shit am I gonna be like this when I'm 30?"; And the second time was a more distinct, clear cut of pain and lesser sweetness.
Second time watching it, I was just amazed that how much Celeste's pain of losing someone she loves resonates so much with mine, until I thought I was almost about to cry. Again, I thought this is totally me and I AM going to be Celeste when I'm 30.
The extra thing that I learnt was letting me know that I have been hurt, the scar is there and you can't turn back time to change things. Things has already been the way it is and the only way to heal it is to move on and cure yourself. You can go run, make friends, singing along to Taylor Swift or Adele, telling people that you're totally okay without him. I mean, c'mon, I survived right? But truth is either time will wash this away, or we can't just pretend that things didn't happen forever. We can't pretend like we never got hurt.
People only believe in what they choose they believe. And after all these crazy things that I've seen, I've heard, I've gone through, I must say at some point I developed a bit of trust issues and that statement cannot be anymore true. And it seems like the only person that you can trust most is nobody but you.
Victor Frankl said, when we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
This is what's happening to me. I got frustrated over so many little things and get sensitive over petty feelings, making myself cry and wear myself out day after day. But nothing changed, They will never change. Even if you doodle or uglify his face, or just making imaginary conversations of you mocking and getting mad at him. What happened cannot be undone. The good thing is, at the end of day I realized I've learnt to accept myself the way I am. Being the way that I'm most comfortable in instead of pleasing everyone else. Because loving yourself is the very least respect that you give yourself. I'm changing, and thankfully in a better way.
After their divorce is finalized, when Celeste asked Jesse does he love Veronica, her eyes is saying that I still love you very much but I think it's time to let go. It's a tiring process and it's the right time to make things right , even if she still loves him. The point is, it's ok as long as the person is happy, you can be happy for them. Personally, if I were to think back the details and connect the dots just to find evidence of who's right or wrong, it's just gonna hurt me again. I let go. No matter it's right or wrong, it just doesn't matter anymore.
Thank you Celeste and Jesse, I've learnt something here and it definitely gave me more peace in mind. Letting go is not something easy and can be done in a snap. But when it's done, that calm feeling is priceless. You just feel like you've grown somewhat...wiser ;)
Do you want to be right or happy? Didn't really give it a thought initially but give it a second look, yeah! This is exactly what I meant! No matter it's right or wrong it doesn't matter anymore, I just want to be happy :)
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