Friday, August 30, 2013

Being high

Sometimes you love the things or person you think you deserve to have,

but sometimes when people don't give shit about it, people always tell you screw them. 
It's easier said than done but I guess I had the strength to do it all the sudden right now.

Screw those people. Be yourself and don't have to be afraid by the judgment of someone who doesn't give shit about you.

I sound badass all the sudden.

Peace.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I heart music

Recently I came to realized why I love music so much. 

Neither because I could leave everything aside and sing continuously till the day breaks, nor because the thing that I concerned the most when I fall sick is my voice. 

It's because music is so transparent and there's nothing but honesty in it. It provokes the truth behind every lies and your emotions are just lying there naked. All the barriers, be it awkwardness or unfamiliarity, just shatter down and suddenly we are all friends to each other. No hate, just love and peace. And sometimes it works even better than talking because music is an universal language. Even the blind gets it.

It's like when you listen to a song from Youtube and then you see those compliments shown in the comments column; for me personally sometimes I can't help thinking or saying "I feel you bro". 

Then when I listen a song from a pop band, be it The Script, Lawson, Coldplay or The 1975, I picture myself in a concert or music festival and we just raise our hands together, singing together even though we might not know each other previously. This applies to house music too.

And when I need a quiet, emotional or romantic night, I crave for Norah Jones, Michael Buble, Alicia Keys etc. those soft, quiet music and I can feel like the world is a blank piece of paper and let your wild imaginations paint it the way you like.


Monday, August 5, 2013

School English Project

Being able to teach something to little kids has been one of my little dreams and today I'm proud to have made it happen :)

After partying and sleeping at 3am and 2am consecutively, I also gave myself a challenge to wake up early (and on time) under a very much sleep-deprived condition. Sleeping at 2 and waking up at 6 is definitely one of a kind, at least waking up at 6 is definitely a first here. Thank god I was able to wake up and make it on time.

At 7am we are all in the bus heading to SJK(C) Pasir Pinji 1 in Ipoh. It was a roughly 50 minutes trip but with a little chit chatting, resting and scenery-viewing, 1 hour is not that long after all.


Taking up this project also means taking up a trip down memory lane, a long ago one. Upon reaching the school, I was so excited to meet those little cutie pies and of course phone-ready for all the pictures, like a tourist yes. Seperti rusa masuk kampung ( showing off my peribahasa here) So here's where I started the photo spree!





Memory lane station 1: I don't even remember my primary school being THIS positive about going to school. (or it's just me missing those times too much?) Anyway, it's totally an awesome and the sweetest thing to start off the day.



Memory lane station 2: UPSRRRRRRR! oh my gosh all those nostalgic feelings all surged up at once!  41 days left, is that why the standard 6-ers looked more serious and stressed out?



Memory lane station 3: Our school used to have these kind of things EVERYWHERE. Here shows the essays written by the students from pre-school to Standard 6. Yes they have pre-school though I have no idea where or why.




Memory lane station 4: Moral values decorated colourfully. Gahhh I don't know but I kinda wish our school had this too. It might seem a little bit childish, but that doesn't mean all adults follow all of them too. It feels like there's always gonna be something there to remind you to do something good and rightful.These might seem elementary but I think adults just underestimate the power of it. It looks simple outside but to practice it could be harder than we thought because we like to think things the complicated way. We tend to forget that they are actually the foundation to a simple, good life.




Memory lane station 5: KIDS!!! AND THAT SCHOOL UNIFORM! A friend even told us "Remember those times when we use to make roses out the belt of our uniforms? :)



2 awesome emcees!


Always feel blessed, appreciate, harmony; you happy, I happy, everybody happy xD


Before conducting our class, we had a little morning stretching before we started class; from our observation, only the Standard  6-ers were almost COMPLETELY unresponsive towards anything! The young ones were super cute! When we said turn around and hi-5 with your friends, the guys were like YERRR! when they had to hi-5 with the girls xD


We started with Standard 3 and 6 before recess. It was a little messy and nervous for the first class. Moreover we started with the youngest batch. So basically after finishing their class, it feels like you've ran around the field for 5 rounds. I suddenly had massive respect for my primary school teachers for handling us noisy children.

Although they were noisy, they were still cute kids and we tried our very best to teach them. I'll be honest I prefer the guys more since they are more active in participating and funny at the same time. As for girls, some are quite and shy, some are very competitive. I remember there's this girl when I passed by her, I asked if she's ok with the tongue twisted they learnt just now. (We have chosen the 2nd hardest tongue twister as a challenge to the kids) And guessed what she replied me, " Teacher I know the hardest one." Wow. Now I know why she was fighting to be the representative of her group to do the tongue twister, for numerous times. But there's another one even more competitive than her in Standard 4 and one no difference from her in Standard 5. There's also a cute one called 诺恒and a pretty, model-like宝儿。I never knew she was a Chinese-Malay mixed until I saw the class name list. Another memorable one is 姚文乐,a bald-headed smiley boy.

Next, it was the Standard 6 class. All the sudden leaped from the youngest to oldest. We were already preparing for a second panic attack after the first one with the standard 3 babies. As I mentioned earlier, they were like the fire-wall or they were insulators towards anything they were told to do, so it did freak us out a little.





Turned out their response weren't as bad as we thought. The 3 musketeers pictures are proof. Oh! and I spotted a pair of twins in the class too! Surprisingly, they were the most cooperative class, notice I mentioned CLASS, not groups. The whole class was very supportive and active in participation, not to mention much easier to teach compared to the young ones. Well, maybe they really thought this might be somewhat helpful in UPSR. There was one really quite one though. Apparently he's no.2 in class and he can read very well. But he's just so quite to the extent that I can barely hear him even when he was reading. He's just so small with that nerdy glasses. I still remember him as 伟阳。

guess who's big bro who's younger bro?

Standard 6 students, I call them the 3 musketeers. They are like the cutest student! Funny, cooperative, cute!  Just love them so muchhhh!! I remember the left one's surname is 鲍,the middle one is 叶 then the last one is 朱民喜. Here's a conversation with the left one during class:-

Me: 等下到你出来讲。
Bob:不要~
Me: 做么不要?男子汉没有胆
Bob: 我的胆放在家,忘记带来了。

After class finishes and during photo-taking session, these kiddo put their hands on my head.

Me: 很大胆hor你们,不是没胆的咩?
Bob: 忘记了,胆放在书包里面 x)

The middle one is a tongue twister pro. Like seriously.




One more shot with Wai Sze. She thinks that they looked like minions. -.-



Memory lane station 6: CANTEEN! Ahh too bad I didn't have a picture of that. Since leaving high school, there's been dining hall and now cafeteria, canteen seems to be left on the same spot after form 5. It's good to have back that nostalgic feeling again :) We had Hainan chicken rice for our recess, quite surprising to me to be eating that in Ipoh.

Memory lane station 7: Seeing kids eating food brought from home. I used to be one of them x) I saw 伟阳 eating alone and I asked him why don't he join his friends and he just shook his head. Le sigh~I tried.

Memory lane station 8: Toilet. Alright it'll be gross if I describe a primary school toilet here, but anyhow it still gives us the nostalgic vibe. And of course no pictures of those x)





Ahh my favourite photo! Initially I was going to take picture with one of the most memorable student in the Standard 3 class called 顺毅. He's the one behind the scene-stealer. Then came the other kiddos. 我要!我也要!我也要!!So there's a mix of Standard 3 and 4 students here because it's at the hall.



After recess, we continued our class with Standard 5 students. This class has an obvious imbalance of ratio between male and female students (studied too much QT) . There are a lot of male (and noisy) students than female ones. In fact, they are the most naughty and noisy ones compared to the other class. As much as I love them, they are the only ones who refuse to read along with me and making noise, playing games with rubber bands. I managed to snatch away one of them's though~hah! But of course I returned it.

Speaking of those rubber band games, then I realized those games weren't just the games of our generation. It was quite a relief to see none of them (so far) holding any electronic devices but were still learning how to make a double star out of a rubber band. Or talking about silly game cards, comparing them like how the guys in my primary school did. Another nice thing I witnessed is that I haven't heard a vulgar word from them, even if they were fooling or teasing around. Not even the word a-s-s like how my time, the boys used to emphasize it. A-S-S.



Once again, I spotted (no, not a twin) a younger brother who has a elder sister in Standard 6. Because their surname is so special. 聂。Quite good looking anyway x) That class has a few good looking ones honestly, and some with pretty special names, like 君健、振亨、顺亿。The class monitor (according to the boys) was so...I can't say matured, but he kinda speaks like an adult, you know like his pattern, the way he speaks. It's like I could already picture him as an adult. He even wants to get my Facebook :O I told him, kiddo if you're my brother I wouldn't allow you to have a social network. Facebook ain't something you would need at 11.

Last class would be the Standard 4 class. I guess due to the lack of time, I didn't really have any memorable moments with them. Except for the bald head 弥乐佛 hahah. Apparently it was really his nick name and I got it right first time. I was going to make it sound like a compliment but he cried! I was like, shit. I even apologized to him many times but his friend told me it was because of his friend not me. I still don't get the difference though hahah. Oh there's also the super competitive one. He's really good in English but really show off though, hardly gives others the chance to read. Didn't bother to find out his name anyway xD There's also one in Standard 5.

Like I said girls have their girls pride or pattern or whatever you call it. I spotted one in Standard 4 and 5. The Standard 5 one was when they were voting which group did the best recitation. When they were voting for a group she didn't support, she was like," You're not fair you're this you're that" so aggressive till it almost became so offensive. As for the Standard 4 one, after the kid finish reading and went back to his place. The girl told him "You weren't good at all, you suck and you shouldn't win!" O.O


Even Standard 3 kids also show this kind of attitude. After a girl won, the guy went over and said "You stopped for a while, you shouldn't win, Cherry should win!" This brings me to another aspect. Winning. I was told that in other classes, they were kids crying when they didn't win. I mean I understand that they're just kids but at such tender age already having this kind of mindset. Say wut?!

There were also some who were slower in learning and our time was limited. So I enjoyed walking around (with those dwarf-like chairs and tables xD) and checking on those students, then slowly reading with them.

Memory lane station 9: Dem dwarfy wooden chairs, tables and that teacher's chair-the only chair with cushion in class.






Watching a cartoon movie-The Princess and Her Desert Kingdom, before leaving.
Memory lane station 10: Computer labs! Though it seems to be more like my high school computer lab.


It's been a long time since seeing these kind of essays after my brother left primary school. This is the work of a Standard 1 student.


Overall I can see 3 types of students there. The first one is the cute and innocent ones. Another ones are mostly girls with their girls pattern, I don't know. The other one would be the quiet one (or maybe slow learner ones) who are rather quiet and less participative in class. I've seen one in almost every class. The one in Standard 5 was like completely negative to every question you ask. No reading, no going out answering questions, nothing. But in the end when he was chosen out to play the game, he actually did a pretty good job! Kudos to that boy!

It actually feels great because I'm doing something productive. I'm contributing, or giving back to the society. For me, the younger generation are the most important ones and therefore education is the most crucial part of it. This trip did not just gained me experience of how hard it is to stand in front of class and educate them in the best way possible, but also relaxation from the adult world; and also it brings me back down the memory lane of good old primary school days. Those were the days~It also showed me how pure and kind these kids are. Despite all those dramas, they are still young kids and....just look at that angelic smile! How can you not love them?! I just wish we can all be like them even though we are grown ups. I'm also glad to meet a lot of new, amazing friends during this trip! My groupmates, Wai Sze, Shell Mun, Siew Mian, Fong Xian, Maple and Jia Jun, you guys are awesome! :D



written: 3/8/13 1am.
photo credits to Stewart, wai sze and other cameras x)


Sunday, July 14, 2013

RIP Cory Monteith

In chinese there is this proverb 天有不测之风云,人有旦夕之祸福,or should I say人算不如天算。
We'll never know what will happen the next day, next minute. The moment you wake up, things changed. People born, people died.

Today I experienced both, and once again it reminded me how much we should love each and everyone around us, cherish them, make the most out of every moment because you'll never know what's gonna happen the next minute. 

Yes Cory Monteith just passed away. I did cry a little although I didn't watch the show, I listened to all their songs and what makes me cry is not just about Cory leaving all of us for the rest of our lives. It's to think about how Lea or Rachel has to go through this, knowing that how cute this couple is and both of them will be getting married in two weeks; to think that there will be no more Finchel in Glee anymore.

Dear god, why?
He was such a nice, talented guy and he's just so young.

Having someone really really close to my heart passing recently, till now after 2 months it's still very hard for me to accept death. It haunts me.

Seriously it's way more shocking than Michael Jackson's and Whitney Houston's passing.

Finn Hudson had sang many many songs on Glee but the first song that came up to my mind is Don't Dream It's Over, next up is The Scientist; and I think this part of the lyrics fits the situation now.

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard.

Now it's time to let go and let Cory Monteith a.k.a. Finn Hudson rest in peace. I believe Ryan Murphy will kill off this character and make a tribute episode dedicated to him. Hopefully.
#RIPCory #don'tstopbelieving










Sunday, June 30, 2013

Technically possible but impossible

I used to have this list of things that are known as "Technically possible but practically impossible" (confusing much?) to the extent that I wanted to make it into a blog post, like just now. Maybe because I didn't write it down, that's why I can't remember most of them except things like "Joking around with Leonardo Dicaprio" or "Being best friends with the person you admire a lot" etc. 

But on second thought, I wondered some of these things, indeed, needed some help from Lady Luck. Since it's technically possible, how is it impossible. Yeah probably it's the factor of fate, luck and destiny you might say. But it IS possible right?

Last weekend I attended this soft skill programme called "Take Charge!" It pretty much teaches you about confidence, how you should take charge of your own destiny. Generally I'm on the same side as the facilitator, except for the fact he doesn't believe at luck at all. Every moment is a choice. Every choice is MY choice. This is one of the many things he wants us to keep in mind. I don't deny it does help though when you pause for a moment and think carefully at everything you choose. From "where should I go for dinner" to "which route should I take to reach my destination at the shortest time" or "what can I do to get that person's attention", it is all a choice. Even when someone suggested what about an traffic accident, apparently it's our own choice to be at that place that moment. We chose to be there at that time.

Nonetheless, other than things like human flying or living underwater, I guess meeting Leonardo Dicaprio is still something possible. Sounds unrealistic and this is where luck plays its part. Luck is a thing that makes unrealistic things possible. Luck can't help you grow wings to fly, but with a little bit of luck and more of our own choices we could get into a spaceship and go outer space right? Luck doesn't give you ability to play magic and show up in front of Leonardo in a split second, but it does give you the opportunity to meet him if the choices are right, right?

Monday, June 24, 2013

Haze

Days ago my father called me for god knows how many times just to express his concern on the recent terrible haze that's sweeping the whole penisular like some kind of lethal virus. Haze is a regular visitor of the south penisular of Malaysia and it certainly didn't surprise me much this time. Besides, last week it was clear blue sky with the summer wind here in Kampar. It was never my concern around here until yesterday night.

I say before it made me asthmatic, I succumbed to the paranoia of surviving under such condition without any air filter or air conditioner at home while I'm sleeping. I cannot picture myself getting an asthma attack in the midst of having my mid term exams! True the PSI here still seem healthy but this is just the first day! The trend for this haze in the other places south last week was accelerating fast. No, it was leaping. It can go from 170/180 till 300/400 by tomorrow. There's no where for me to run because cancelling class doesn't seem to be ideal either since I'm only surviving under a fan, no filter, nothing. Although it has been awhile since I had my asthma but this is the first time I would be facing such terrible haze with fan and mask solely. Not to mention I still need to go outdoors and fulfill my daily needs. I don't have a car! I could only cycle or walk which obviously exposes me to the polluted dust and air. Of course, this also means that I have to dine in air-conditioned restaurants again to avoid this haze and that means higher food expenses!

I even have to debate when and how many times would be the ideal number to assure my cleaniness. I feel sticky now and I want to bathe. But if I bathe and I go out for dinner or whatsoever, I could see those dust and particles sticking on my hair and I have to sleep and live with that. Or what? I need to hold myself until I completed my daily errands and then I'll shower? Or what? wash my hair before and after?!
 
Sigh this haze and paranoia has made me losing my mind literally! It's been bugging me even in class! I can't even focus in class properly and I'm goddamn tired. Totally not in a good mood, everything just piss me off for no reason. The only thing that can satisfy me this time is making progress in my assignments or studies or tutorials. I doubt even chocolate could help much this time.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Ranting in a boring midnight

I see everybody's been posting pretty "deep" blogs recently, so am I gonna make one right now. Besides, the atmosphere is perfect right now. 2am on a Saturday midnight, everyone's back to hometown. The night is plain quiet. Not a single sound could be heard. It's like something's blocking between and all the sounds going on out there. Except for the folk radio on Myspace, the typing sound and the fan sound. 2am in my PJ and nerdy glasses in front of my lappie trying to be poetic in this silent night, what else could I ask for?

I'm bored. And I would be more than happy to declare that.

But other than this I can hardly say anything else. I know I'm busy. I know this is not good for my health. I know I have things to be accomplished and I have to accomplish it tomorrow if possible so I should be having sufficient sleep. But I'm not doing it. I'm going exactly the opposite way.

It's empty inside me. For the past 3 indescribably boring weekend, I like other time been trying to acquire as much knowledge as I could outside of my country. I saw stuff happening in New York, LA, I learnt science, anatomy and invaluable moral lessons from Bones. I learnt how to identify what's a good movie, what's a bad movie to watch. I traveled to Rome in To Rome with Love. But still, the problem is still there. I'm not applying it in any way. And yet, problems right in front of me awaiting for me to solve are still yet to be solved. They pile up.

This is exactly where my problem lies. I put the puzzles of all my dreams and desires together and I could start identifying the direction that I am heading. But I'm sort of leaving out 10 years in the middle. I want to travel and learn the little things, I wanna be part of UNICEF and help those kids when I'm financially stable. I want to have a beautiful house and a beautiful family. But yet I'm here screwing my own health with undone assignments and tutorials. Do those dots connect? It's like I'm dreaming of the day I could fly to the moon with my own wings and live there eternally. That sounds impossible right?

I'm just ranting and wasting my time. This is unhealthy. I'm out.

Friday, June 7, 2013

很好笑的事

一下了车,第一个反应就是-“天下怎么会有那么好笑的事?”

没错。天下竟然有那么不可理喻的事而且发生在我身上了。
今天一放学后就赶回家忙东西,收拾行李之类的。天气又那么热,汗流浃背都得赶因为德士司机很快就会到。

收拾行李了,便撑着伞在炎热的天气下走去朋友家。尽管行李挺重的,还是得一步一步、加快脚步走到目的地。心想,反正很快就会坐上巴士吹冷气了,现在热多一阵子也没关系。

抵达了目的地。
一边等着朋友准备,一边等着德士的到来。

德士来了。
司机的语气是急促的,急着催我们上车。他再次向我们确定共有4个人去。我傻了,没算错啊!的却是5个人去,怎么会少买一张票?难道有人另外买票?

摆乌龙不摆乌龙,巴士票也仅有4张。司机还说”这个时间全部的巴士票都卖光了,除非从怡保搭去……” 做决定的时间都不够,司机还不断地催促。那一刹那关键时刻是多么的紧逼,仿佛身处在时光机的门即将闭上的时刻,人家问你“快啊!你来还是不来?!”

当时只能选我或是另外个朋友放弃,你能想象那种“救我还是就她”那种情景。我就是那个“算了你救他吧”。当时也没想到什么……虽然心里自私点默默希望对方能说点什么,但也能谅解他也身处与我相似的情境。

也许是我装伟大,但我绝非要掏同情。这次可能倒霉了一点,但要是换做是我留下,要对方放弃,我心里也不会好受到哪里去。况且司机就这样丢下我叫我自己步行回家!换做是我那个朋友他就惨咯!他家可远多了~而且他可是司机上门载的!要他步行回去不如叫另一辆车载他回。

说教训也不对,只能说倒霉吧~下次希望会幸运一点咯 :)