Change

Today is the first day of my last term in KTJ and as usual, it is a bittersweet day. But today, that feeling was a little thicker than before. My family followed me today up to my room, like my whole family. The last time this happened was also during this term last year. I was happy because my room suddenly turned into a hotel room which is cosy and less of the studious atmosphere. It was heart-warming and filled with happiness. We even took pictures in the room as if this was some special place or a museum; funny pictures, serious pictures, happy pictures….Thus, parting with them isn’t an easy task to do for me, though it was just a two weeks break from here, it felt as if this school was a total new environment to me, it occurs every time I come back from term break. I know I didn’t fully show my love towards them, like hugging and stuff, because I refuse to cry afterwards, I just simply don’t want to. It was hard and really really dislike that feeling. But at least I realized that no matter how I am, to them I am still family, they still love me like the way they did from the very first time :’)

The other thing is the shocking departure of my dearest house mistress. I see her as my mama in KTJ, I really can’t believe how would I survive without her in this school. It was really heart-breaking to hear that news, thank goodness I didn’t shed a tear on the spot, just trying to be cool and be strong. I was grateful that we are leaving but at the same time, I feel extremely bad for those who came in earlier than me but had to stay here for a few more years. This is really really bad news for them now. However, this has once again confirmed my hypothesis. I believe an individual could only rely on themselves throughout their whole life, not even family shall they rely on forever. It might sound cruel but keep reading this.

Even family members could leave us any time, without any sign or prediction. If we totally rely on them for the rest of our lives, in the end, the only person who hurts the most would be ourselves, not even those family members. Just like when my family members left me just now, and how Ms. Campbell said she’s gonna leave by the end of this term. Indeed it is heart-breaking, but we gotta learn how not to commit our whole self into this feeling. For example, I told myself when my family left, two weeks more then I could go home. But then, I’m not gonna stay at my home forever, KTJ is not the only place I’m gonna stay other than my home! In fact, I will have to leave for a farther place! Therefore, I’m still in the process of learning how to adapt this, it ain’t easy ya’ know! For my housemistress’ departure, I love her but this is bound to happen, we will have to leave and god bless, we will meet again if we have the chance to. I gotta have to learn how to move on, get used to new comings and departures. This won’t be the end of it, so I will learn how to move on, and remember always trust yourself and love yourself more than anyone else in this world.