Today is
the first day of my last term in KTJ and as usual, it is a bittersweet day. But
today, that feeling was a little thicker than before. My family followed me
today up to my room, like my whole family. The last time this happened was also
during this term last year. I was happy because my room suddenly turned into a
hotel room which is cosy and less of the studious atmosphere. It was
heart-warming and filled with happiness. We even took pictures in the room as
if this was some special place or a museum; funny pictures, serious pictures,
happy pictures….Thus, parting with them isn’t an easy task to do for me, though
it was just a two weeks break from here, it felt as if this school was a total
new environment to me, it occurs every time I come back from term break. I know
I didn’t fully show my love towards them, like hugging and stuff, because I
refuse to cry afterwards, I just simply don’t want to. It was hard and really
really dislike that feeling. But at least I realized that no matter how I am,
to them I am still family, they still love me like the way they did from the
very first time :’)
The other
thing is the shocking departure of my dearest house mistress. I see her as my
mama in KTJ, I really can’t believe how would I survive without her in this
school. It was really heart-breaking to hear that news, thank goodness I didn’t
shed a tear on the spot, just trying to be cool and be strong. I was grateful
that we are leaving but at the same time, I feel extremely bad for those who
came in earlier than me but had to stay here for a few more years. This is
really really bad news for them now. However, this has once again confirmed my
hypothesis. I believe an individual could only rely on themselves throughout
their whole life, not even family shall they rely on forever. It might sound
cruel but keep reading this.
Even
family members could leave us any time, without any sign or prediction. If we
totally rely on them for the rest of our lives, in the end, the only person who
hurts the most would be ourselves, not even those family members. Just like
when my family members left me just now, and how Ms. Campbell said she’s gonna
leave by the end of this term. Indeed it is heart-breaking, but we gotta learn
how not to commit our whole self into this feeling. For example, I told myself
when my family left, two weeks more then I could go home. But then, I’m not
gonna stay at my home forever, KTJ is not the only place I’m gonna stay other
than my home! In fact, I will have to leave for a farther place! Therefore, I’m
still in the process of learning how to adapt this, it ain’t easy ya’ know! For
my housemistress’ departure, I love her but this is bound to happen, we will
have to leave and god bless, we will meet again if we have the chance to. I
gotta have to learn how to move on, get used to new comings and departures.
This won’t be the end of it, so I will learn how to move on, and remember
always trust yourself and love yourself more than anyone else in this world.
