To choose One Direction

So I was browsing through my senior, Stanley's blog-Me and the World.

Words could not describe my respect and gratitude towards this senior within that short 6 months period.

Nevertheless, he loves photographing so I get to browse a lot of pretty pretty pictures from his blog, and it's true, I sort of felt like I was travelling just by reading his blog, it's mind blowing!

Before reading his blog, I was looking at this particular article called If you can, do What You Love.

I, too , always thought about this issue of mine. Honestly, I'm not very very very passionate about law. The reason of me taking up the course was simply ridiculous! Because accounting can't switch to law but law can switch to accounting. But then, after that, I realized that I've learned a lot from law and I think it has to be the closest subject to whatever that I'm interested-Philosophy, Anthropology.....I still can't get them clear. So yeah, Law was decent.

However if you want me to consider what I REALLY LOVE. I have no doubts its becoming a singer, or a celebrity you could say. It might sound absurd to us, yeah it is, and that's what holding me back.

I feel like, is this really what I wanted to do for the rest of my life? or is this just merely a daydream of mine since childhood. Every child wishes to be a star when they were young isn't it?

Besides, I think the other thing that held me back was Stanley pictures. (heh, I'm blaming him now) It's just so pretty that I wouldn't mind doing law, which is not something I love, since my school is gonna that damn beautiful and the scenery is goddamn gorgeous. 

I WANT TO TRAVEL! YES TRAVEL! and that's what held me back from achieving things like being a celeb. I would think that, ya know, doing law in UK isn't that bad after all isn't it? There are other things  outside the entertainment industry that's worth doing and I love it too. If I become a celeb, I wouldn't get to travel wherever I want, however long I want. If I graduate with a law degree, have a stable job, I could do whatever I want by then. I have the freedom to do it and without being tied down by those hectic life. Of course, I love hectic life but not continuously.

Whatever it is, I'm not gonna be doing law in UK anymore. So I came up with another brief plan in my mind now.

I want go to the US, but I'll need to check out the fees and living cost first, and consider carefully what I would want to do for the rest of my life and get a degree out of it.

If I can't go to the US, then I'll stay here and probably get an accounting degree, figure out what awesome thing I can do out of it. but meantime I would like to try out acting, not necessarily have to be big, but I just want to enjoy and get some experience because I like it.

However the main thing is, I want to be rich, so that I have the luxury of doing anything I like and going wherever I wanna go.

Ugh! there's so much things going on in my mind now!

Whatever it is, I'll just work hard for my grades first, it is the passport to my freedom and I must get it!

Living in a Lie

Just finished composing a song, well I supposed it's a song...instead of a poem or others...

Anyway, I was inspired to write something like a song or a poem because I was inspired by a "betrayal".

Ok, not exactly a betrayal but I thought I was a special friend to my friend. I mean, I shared all my secrets with her and she told me hers. But now, she didn't update me but instead, she told the other person which coincidentally not someone that I favour. 

Nevertheless, I got inspiration from there but this "song" is not gonna be about that. It's about a girl who has happily mistaken the guy's gestures as a hint to tell her that he has a crush on her. But instead it was just herself thinking too much and the best part is, he has a crush on another girl and he sees this girl as her best friend. So she was mistaken for it but it wasn't the guy's fault because it was her who imagines on her own and now she has to take responsibility of all the wounds by herself.

I wanna make this song into a love song, between couples instead of friends like me and that friend, so I used an example of my another friend who currently has a pretty cool prom date, but she thinks that the guy has a crush on her so she's starting to fall for him, which is pretty dangerous at the same time. So, I apologize since I used them as reference if they didn't really work out :/ Wish them all the best anyway.

So here we go!

Flowers and letters they all turned to dust

Words and promises were nothing but my imagination

Was it just the innate feature of a girl?

Do you call that normal?

But it hurts too much

You look into my eyes

You told me no lies

Yet you bid me goodbye

I could only blame myself and cry

I’ve been living in a lie

All you gave me was a lie

I remember how you hold my hand

That moment I thought I was your girlfriend

Didn’t you see the blush on my face?

You told me all about her

Your that smile is what I desired

I wonder, for you, how friends are defined

Tell them secrets,

Kiss their faces,

But never said that “you are mine”

I wonder, for you, how lovers are defined

Tell them secrets,

Kiss their faces,

Then tell them “you are mine”?

我要

我也想努力读好书；

我也想考取好成绩，争取我要的东西。

我也想读到我想要的科系，做我要做的工作。

我也想要我选择的人生。

我不要被约束于我不喜欢的人生，不喜欢的东西。

加油吧！

Change

Today is the first day of my last term in KTJ and as usual, it is a bittersweet day. But today, that feeling was a little thicker than before. My family followed me today up to my room, like my whole family. The last time this happened was also during this term last year. I was happy because my room suddenly turned into a hotel room which is cosy and less of the studious atmosphere. It was heart-warming and filled with happiness. We even took pictures in the room as if this was some special place or a museum; funny pictures, serious pictures, happy pictures….Thus, parting with them isn’t an easy task to do for me, though it was just a two weeks break from here, it felt as if this school was a total new environment to me, it occurs every time I come back from term break. I know I didn’t fully show my love towards them, like hugging and stuff, because I refuse to cry afterwards, I just simply don’t want to. It was hard and really really dislike that feeling. But at least I realized that no matter how I am, to them I am still family, they still love me like the way they did from the very first time :’)

The other thing is the shocking departure of my dearest house mistress. I see her as my mama in KTJ, I really can’t believe how would I survive without her in this school. It was really heart-breaking to hear that news, thank goodness I didn’t shed a tear on the spot, just trying to be cool and be strong. I was grateful that we are leaving but at the same time, I feel extremely bad for those who came in earlier than me but had to stay here for a few more years. This is really really bad news for them now. However, this has once again confirmed my hypothesis. I believe an individual could only rely on themselves throughout their whole life, not even family shall they rely on forever. It might sound cruel but keep reading this.

Even family members could leave us any time, without any sign or prediction. If we totally rely on them for the rest of our lives, in the end, the only person who hurts the most would be ourselves, not even those family members. Just like when my family members left me just now, and how Ms. Campbell said she’s gonna leave by the end of this term. Indeed it is heart-breaking, but we gotta learn how not to commit our whole self into this feeling. For example, I told myself when my family left, two weeks more then I could go home. But then, I’m not gonna stay at my home forever, KTJ is not the only place I’m gonna stay other than my home! In fact, I will have to leave for a farther place! Therefore, I’m still in the process of learning how to adapt this, it ain’t easy ya’ know! For my housemistress’ departure, I love her but this is bound to happen, we will have to leave and god bless, we will meet again if we have the chance to. I gotta have to learn how to move on, get used to new comings and departures. This won’t be the end of it, so I will learn how to move on, and remember always trust yourself and love yourself more than anyone else in this world.

꿈

It's not that I don't have the right to dream, it's because I didn't work hard enough to make my dreams come true.

Whether it's becoming a singer, becoming a model or becoming a celebrity, no on should be discriminated from dreaming.

I don't live for my family, I don't live for my parents, I LIVE FOR MYSELF.

I might not be able to give back what they want right now, but I promise I'll work hard for my dream; and I promise I'll give back something that you'll be happy with.

I don't completely hate whatever that I'm doing right now, but I will work hard to repay whatever that my parents have given me for this. When I'm done with this sum of gratitude, the next step is mine and I'll make sure I will not regret with whatever that I'm doing.

Ask me what's my dream? To become a singer, a musician, a celebrity, and I'll work hard for it.

Honestly I'm scared. I'm afraid of what my future beholds. I dare not imagine and dare not even believe in miracles. However, I guess I do now.

Master of Study and Dream High 2 was the reason I became this inspired.

I started to reflect on my life, what I've been living on and what I've been avoiding all this time.

I am something. I believe in that. I believe I will be able to excel in something as long as I'm alive.

OK, I guess it's time to work hard now, and I will continue Master of Study after my exams :)

First of all, this is my first time using iPad to write my blog, DAMN COOL!

Alright, since yesterday I've been extremely addicted to iPad, thanks to the stupid diamond dash which got me addicted to it.

However, I've learnt a lot about this device and I think it helped my fingers a lot in terms of playing piano.

I guess my next mission of iPad is to use it to write my essay :P

Ok, the main post today is about my lunch.Mum made me make my own lunch ><

I mean c'mon!!! My purpose of coming back is to taste mum's best cooking

But instead I was forced to make my own lunch because she thinks I can't do it my own :(

Well, it's.....partly true.

But the best part here is that I finally successfully fried an egg without any burnt sign!!!

And I didn't break the egg yolk in the frying pan!!!

So proud of myself :P

Oh yeah, I forgot to mentZion what's that, it's ham and egg and cheese sandwich.

Though it as successful, but honestly it doesn't taste as good as my mum's cooking :/

Maybe it's because now I cook too often, I used to be very satisfied with my own cooking.

For those who haven't try out this dish, your should try making it yourself someday, it taste ah-mae -zing!!!

I'm sorry for not being able to take picture of it, it's just too ugly but the taste is beauuuuutiful!!!

Ok that's all for now!ciao!

Ps: using iPad to type is to as easy and convenient as you think after all

I'm a lawyer who an sing;

I'm a singer with a law degree from UK.

OHMAIGAWD, how cool is it to tell people that :D

Quote from Melee's Built to Last video

Ahhh~I gotta say, holiday has been the best time for me to use the limitless internet stream to hunt for good music. So today, accidentally I heard this band called Melee, gosh they were AMAZING!!!

I guess it's because of their music style and their music direction is way too optimist, it is perfect for someone like me but not the general market. Ya know, people's impressions on bands are emo people who never takes life seriously~

Anyway, I'm not here to lecture you guys who Melee is, well, probably not this time, but I found this amazing quote from a lyric video of Melee's song called Built to Last.

-When I tell you that I love you,

I don't say it for any other reason

than to remind you that you're the best thing that ever happened to me <3-

I just went AWWWW~~

with the background music, everything was perfect!

Honestly, it is a very simple video, but it's one of the best video I've ever watched.

If you guys are interested in the song, you can go check out this link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVPBvtJ0nPE

that's all for now! toodles :)